Make it pretty!

My mom knows how to cook, she just prefers to avoid it. One time I called her in college saying I wish I had a homemade meal and she informed me that it was buy-one-get-one free pizza night at Domino's. Nevertheless, my mom was raised by my grandmother, a woman who lives by two rules in the kitchen:

1) Always make three times the amount of food you think you'll need (God forbid someone goes hungry),
2) Whatever you are making, make it pretty.

The last rule has been drilled into any person who has been within a 50 mile radius of my grandma's kitchen, but somehow it's been lost on me. As my bourbon ball odyssey at the demonstrated, I can make the most popular dessert at the Christmas potluck, but I cannot make it pretty. There was no getting around this embarrassing truth when I made Derby Pie for my family while in Oklahoma. My mom gasped in horror when she saw the pie crust, leading to the following conversation -

Mom: What are you doing??
Me: Making pie.
Mom: With crusts like that! Your grandma would be so ashamed!
Me: What?
Mom: Your pie crusts aren't pretty. You're supposed to crimp pie crusts. Haven't I taught you anything?!

This life lesson stayed with me all of three weeks. Fearing that I would shame my family, the next pie crust was a masterpiece. On a roll, I offered to make another Derby Pie for my coworkers. But I was exhausted when I got home tonight and did what any rational person would do in this situation - I called my mom for permission not to crimp the pie crust...

Me: I'm making an ugly Derby Pie. I can make the pie, but crimping the crust is just too much work.
Mom: You have to!
Me: Why? No one will even notice, they'll be too busy eating.
Mom: Because you have to show that the pie is loved.

Who can argue with that?

Maybe Mom is right...

(A loved pie)